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Is this ringing any warning bells?

by October Boy (a year 12 student)

Has anyone noticed anything strange lately with the bells? You know, the ones for the start of school, and for the end of recess and lunch? No? I’ll tell you ....THERE’S TWO OF THEM!


Yes, that’s right: two. The school, it seems, is now assuming that we students are as deaf as some senior staff members, and so we need to have a friendly little reminder. Now, you may not see a problem with this, but I do:

Firstly, it’s pretty damn patronising. It reminds me of when I was in kindergarten, where the teacher used to collect us from the bottom playground at the end of lunch so the big bad year fives wouldn’t beat us up. It’s like Mrs. Mitchell coming up to us, bending down smilingly, and saying:
“Come on kiddies, it’s time to go back to class. We have some fun colouring in to do, followed by sleeping lions! Oh no James, did you wet your pants again? Never mind, I’ll kiss it better”

Or something along those lines. Well, it’s all very kind of them, but even the smallest sevies are capable of remembering to go to class all by themselves. Amazing what selective school kids can do, isn’t it.

Secondly, Smith’s Hill has a long and proud history of procrastinating. We collectively procrastinate about handing notes in, we procrastinate about what we’re going to buy from the canteen; vaguely waving a $5 note around the air as we try to express exactly what item will satisfy that hot-cold-hungry-thirsty feeling, and when we decide on chicken noodles, the canteen lady procrastinates about actually making it for us. But it’s all good, because Smith’s Hill is built on procrastination: just like Ireland is built on potatoes and Keira High is built on drug-dealing. But the most important, most sacred Smith’s Hill tradition is procrastinating about getting to class. And this applies to teachers too. I’ve had first period classes where we students turn up at 8.37, the teacher rushes in at 8.45 (mumbling something about traffic), and by the time we unpack and stop chatting it’s 8.55. That’s right, 30 minutes wasted in glorious productivity. The benefits of this are clear: Smith’s Hill is the laziest school in Wollongong, and who consistently gets the best marks in EVERYTHING? Us! Coincidence? No way.

But now, in case no-one’s noticed, the first bell seems to be ringing 5 minutes early! 3 times a day, and with 200 school days a year, that equates to 3000 lost minutes a year! That’s 3000 minutes (or 50 hours) less to spend with our friends, and 50 hours more of boring, unproductive classwork. There is no doubt about it, they have every intention of defying years of tradition and imposing a new totalitarian regime upon us. And our school image will suffer.

When this was first implemented, I thought: there is no way that students are going to stand for this. The teachers will realise what a mistake they made. But I was so so wrong! Now, every morning, at exactly 8.20, I see lines of obedient students file off to their classrooms. It’s enough to make me sick! And something has to change!

And so, fellow students of Smith’s Hill, I’m calling on you to join me in resisting this dual bell system! Ignore the first bell, and then take your time getting to class after the second. We’re not breaking any rules, just refusing to give up our free time to line up outside a classroom. And you can be sure that generations of former students will be smiling down on us for upholding this most noble of Smith’s Hill values!

Moderator's Note: This article was written for Smogblog by a third party, and does not necessarily represent the views of Smog (although it probably does...why else would we have put it up!?)

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15 comments:

Matt Jones (Year 12( said...

Bit disturbed that a kindergarten teacher would 'kiss' wet pants better...

year 8 chick said...

according to one teacher I have spoken to, the first bell is a "warning bell"- as if to say "start packing up your stuff" But seriously, with the majority of classes I have, the problem is not caused by the students, rather the teachers. On teacher in particular (konsukas) is constantly late for class. Her record= 38 minutes late. Now that's just sad.

Not giving up without a fight said...

Can they actually do that? Are they not required to give us a minimal amount of time for breaks? And by shortening the breaks, are they not giving us less than minimal time? The only way this idea will be fully accepted is if they start both lunch and recess 5 minutes earlier than current. This will not be tolerated and we will strike about it, by enjoying our last five minutes to the full extent of our power, through procrastination.
Procrastinate Smith's Hill, Procrastinate

Anonymous said...

hear, hear!

YR9 4evr!!! said...

WHat's everyone whinging about! I think it's good! There's too much bludging at our school!

Anonymous said...

whoa lanuage Yr 9 4ever, the yr 12 is putting their opinion up. Anyways havent you considered that maybe the yr12 arent in class sometimes cos they have free periods? The 5 minute before bell i believe is get people to 'start' moving. because by the time everyone packs up it has been 5 mins. its like a preparing bell, you DONT ahve ot leavce straight away, but the idea is to let you know that class is starting soon.

Anonymous said...

also to say to not giving up without a fight, most times when you get to class isnt the teacher usally late anyways? So you can just stand outside the class room and chat, so otherwise if we started getting on class on time and the teacher isnt even on time that whats the point. I think the teachers should be the ones to get there on time as well. They complain that we are late for class, but they are late too. WHAT if we're late sometimes cos we know the teacher is going to be late?

Matt Jones (Year 12) said...

lol.
Year9 4evr's trolling attempts won't work.
Lazy bludging year 12s indeed. It's not like we don't have mountains of homework and stuff. Every lesson is a time we go "Please God not more homework."

Enjoy Year 9 while you can. When you hit Year 12, you'll be the same as us.

Anonymous said...

successful troll seemed to be successful.

Morgan Legg said...

The thing is, I've never once had a teacher complain that someone's late. It's pretty much accepted because the teachers do it just as often as students. It's inevitable that for some reason, someone may not get to class on time. I think it probably happens at every school.
What surprises me is that no ones said anything about it. Like teachers I mean. There hasn't been any announcements, it just started happening and it wasn't until students asked that it was kind of explained as a 'warning bell'.

Anonymous said...

If having two bells in your life instead of one makes that much of a difference to you, you have a very nice life. Enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

I've had a teacher even worse then kotsukos..carty
haha good ol engineering teacher =D
gotta love that guy but aye
once he thought it was recess and sat in his staff room drinking tea.
it was only after 40 minutes of waiting roudn did we go to his staff room to find good ol carty drinking his tea haha.
im not saying this is a bad thing liek we have to do work and everything but aye you gotta love that guy.

October Boy said...

it's depressing, everyone still seems to be moving after the first bell

have they won?

sqauwky said...

i think they have...it's a terrible failure!!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or have the two bells merged back in to one?
My memory is terrible, I was last at school yesterday, but I do smell a victory.

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