TOP FIVE WORST EXCUSES FOR NOT HANDING IN WORK
It happens to the best of us. Procrastinating, “slacking off” and the inability to resist checking your facebook feed...just...one...more...time. The next day, the blood drains from your face and you break out in a sweat- that assignment? The one you didn’t do? It’s due today. *explicative*. Whether it’s a simple maths exercise or an essay on Shakespeare’s treatment of his female characters you never want to be in this situation.
Your options are as follows: Lie/Tell the truth. Yeah, we picked Lie too. Here’s a handy guide to avoiding awkward half-formed and totally obvious excuses as to why your work isn’t in on time.
Smog's
TOP FIVE WORST EXCUSES FOR NOT HANDING IN WORK
5) “I was at my dad’s house” ...and he doesn’t have WIFI/ a computer/a house, ect. It’s quite disturbing how many people’s dads are to blame for a lack of work. In an age where it’s awkward and weird if your parents still sleep in the same bed teacher’s aren’t’ sympathetic to the “I’m from *sob* a broken home *sob*...I-I-I just...*sniffle*...need some love.”
4) “ My sister/brother/great-aunt had to use the computer”- Too bad year 9 and 10 can no longer use this gem of an excuse. The idea behind this is to convince your teacher that you selflessly gave your computer up to you little sister so she could work on an assignment...but the teacher is not so selfless as to care at all.
3) “My printer wasn’t working”-Also, I didn’t bother to put it on a USB...or e-mail it to you, both of which could have easily resolved this “problem”. This one is teachers really hate and after hearing it a several times a week they begin to wonder if there is some mass printer-sabotaging conspiracy.
2) “I was Away”- *Checks roll* No , you were here actually. Any other outrageous statements you’d like to make? All your friends were also away so you couldn’t get it off them, I suppose...
1) “I forgot it”- It might be true-it’s pretty hard to remember anything after a MSN marathon a few hours on the PS3. Actual memory loss aside, this is possibly the WORST excuse ever. At least excuses 5-2 involve some amount of creativity.
You know what NOT to do and say...but what are some great ways of weaselling your way out of that stupid history report?
• The key is originality. If your teacher has heard is before, he/she isn’t going to believe you.
• Play up the discrimination factor- “But Miss! I was celebrating Eid Al-Fitr. What? You don’t know what that is? *mumbles indistinctly in Arabic* ...it’s...my traditional holiday OBVIOUSLY! So what if I am “anglo”...I do not judge you based on the colour or your horrendous red hair, yet you judge me on the colour of my skin! For shame...”
Not much they can say after that fantastic excuse.
• Start at home- If you can get a note out of your mum go with that. She hasn’t been exposed to years of half-baked excuses. Your teacher can’t ignore parental acknowledgement, no matter how ambiguous.
Take these tips into account next time, and avoid all eye-rolling and eyebrow-raising.
Or...you could...y’know...actually DO your homework and assignments...
This article was written for Smog by a third party and does not necessarily represent the views of Smogblog or its management
4 comments:
You should make a Best 5 Excuses, no. 1 being "My dog ate it" XD
Once one of my friends homework was eaten by his pet budgie :P
ahaha. sad really. to think i've used 1) 3) and 4) ...this term. well i agree you should make a Best 6 excuses too.
My dog actually did make off with my homework one day. My french teacher also believed me. No one would be so stupid as to use that excuse if it wasn't true.
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