WTF MOMENT:It's Subjective. (episode six)
This term is almost over. Well...sort of. It’s week 6! Can you believe it? Reports are due in from the teachers soon, making this the time of the term to cram in assignments and what not. Another sign that it is week six- the weather. Torrential rain and mass flooding is not ideal in anyone’s opinion. Except when you want to get out of sport. And subject selections have come up again. Well, for the junior school, anyway. Subject changing is more the style of year 9 and up. So, To help you avoid despair in the coming semester, I have devised a guide to the subjects offered. Read this before you select/change your subjects to keep disappointment at bay.
Maths: During the semester you will gain knowledge in all fields of mathematics and by the end of the term be worth $3.95 (the price of a calculator at GoLo’s).
English: Study texts. Yeah not so much SMS. Analyse! Analyse! It is scientifically impossible for you to get something wrong as everything is a matter of opinion.
Drama: Learn to be as bubbly and obnoxious as that one girl that was in the school play. Disappoint your parents when you tell them you want a career in acting.
History: Learn stuff that happened in the past. That’s all I can say. Can’t even make a joke of it, seriously.
Geography: You think it’s about maps? It’s not. It’s about people. Somehow that makes sense.
Science: Learn stuff you already knew in a more complicated format.
Religion: Take science and contradict yourself- a great conversation starter.
Art: Grab a bunch of watercolours and paint your school shirt. It’s art. Scream “art is totally subjective” when questioned.
French: Learn to speak English with a French accent.
German: Try to ignore the Hitler jokes.
Japanese: Be unique and individual (there is no way I’m taking French and German! They are soooo conformist!) just like everyone else in your class.
Literacy: Pick up year 9’s slack.
Music: Carry your double bass to school. Every.Single.Day. Damn that flautist! They have it so easy!
PE: If you like this subject, I can recommend a good phychiatrist.
Cooking: omnomn nom nom nom nom. Nom nom. Nom.
Sewing: Hint: any guy who joins this class will be pleased at the 1:29 boy to girl ratio. Or be laughed at.
IT: ...*restrains laughter*
And there you have it! The unoffical guide to chosing the right subjects.
-happy subject-selecting
-ENN
This article was written for Smog by a third party and does not necessarily represent the views of Smogblog or its management
7 comments:
HEY DON'T BAG OUT JAPENESE! it's awesome! at least i dont do french or german- they are sooooooooooooo what every else does anyway.
muhaha
this is great...
I believe it's a flautist?
No one takes their double bass every day. Barely anyone plays it, and those of us that do aren't stupid enough bring our own in when the school has one that works again
You forgot D&T
Psychiatrist or physiotherapist perhaps? Possibly a flautist? And BTW, german sounds more like english than french does. Editing and thought should perhaps be taken into consideration before you write your next piece.
Well, for what it's worth, I think it's a good article.
But anonymous does have a point. Maybe that's what I'll write my next article on. The illiteracy of sevies :D
literacy??? sevies??? what is this nonsense!
"physiatrist" is obviously a mystical thingy...somehow
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